fateandfortune | Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

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Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

[continued from here]

It was a pleasant surprise to glance over and see Todd asleep on the bed, relaxed and peaceful. He can't have gotten much quality rest the night before propped up in the chair as he had been, certainly not when he'd been woken by her nightmare. She hoped that didn't happen again tonight, he had important things to take care of tomorrow; she didn't know all of the details, but with a civil war going on between his people, he needed his wits about him.

To that end, Rogue forced herself to stay awake for hours into the night, eating the dinner he'd brought for her and looking through one of the books from the collection he'd shown her before their sparring session. She didn't recognize anything on the pages, but it gave her a topic for conversation with the voices in her head, providing ample entertainment to pass the time. Eventually she fell asleep herself, the book held carefully to her chest as she curled up in the armchair, her boots set on the floor beside it. It was a fairly deep sleep, and she didn't dream for one of the first times in many weeks, something she was eternally grateful for when she awoke.

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Hearing him say those words... It nearly broke her heart in the best of ways. It cemented the knowledge that he cared for her in his own way, that he'd hoped she would return even though he had no way of knowing if it were even possible. She had to bite her lip to keep the tears held back, but she still managed a smile as she nodded at his question.

"Breakfast sounds good," she told him before leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

He smiled, and, with some effort, they got out of bed.

As they dressed in their clean clothes, Todd made an annoyed noise at her outfit her captors had forced her into. Atlantis had not even had the decentcy to offer her even a ridculous jumpsuit in place of her current attire.

"No, leave it, and put the robe back on, we'll get you fitted for new clothes first." he said.

It was a huge relief to not have to wear the grey suit again. Not only did it take a great deal of effort for everything to be properly in place, but the memories that clung to it were among the worst in Rogue's mind. Each removable section of the suit held a dozen recollections of the various experiments the scientists had conducted, each painful and horrific.

"Thank you," was all she could offer, but she knew from the sound he'd made that he would understand just how grateful she was. Undoing the pieces she'd already put in place, she slid back into the robe with a sigh and tied it tightly closed.

Todd stuffed the awful garment down the trash hole in the corner where it would be passed down to the incinerator and then the ashes blown into space. They then headed for the chamber where the wraith all got their clothes from.

It was a bit of a walk, and to avoid Rogue bumping into anyone accidentally, he walked in front of her when crew approached from the opposite direction.

The chamber they reached was small, about the size of Todd's chambers, minus the bathroom. There were three pods in the far wall, about half the size of the ones the wraith hibernated in, and a low table in the center of the room which was big enough to hold even the largest wraith.

Todd closed the door to give them some privacy and had Rogue take the robe off and climb up onto the table.

"The beam above is going to scan you to get your sizes" he explained, going over to a panel on the wall. "Face up with your arms at your sides to start."

Rogue made herself as small as possible when they passed others in the hall, so very glad of Todd's foresight in walking in front of her at those times to help keep anyone from getting too close. She took note of the way the crew looked at her, the hints of emotion in their expression at seeing her walking the halls again. What she wouldn't give to be able to join them in the arena or working in the kitchen.

At first, she was fine with laying on the table, understanding what was going to happen and that she was safe here, Todd wouldn't put her in a situation where she wouldn't be safe. But as she settled down as he'd instructed, her pulse began to race as panic rose in her chest. It was silly, she was fine, but the psychological association of laying naked on a table wasn't something she could easily overcome. She clenched her eyes shut and forced herself to stay still.

The scan was quick and Todd had her turn over on her stomach for a second scan before having her get down and put her robe back on.

He put his arm around her and steered her over to the panel, knowing that laying on a table might not have been the best way to help get rid of unpleasant memories, but it had only been a few seconds and she wouldn't have to do it again.

"Now we have to input some information for the design." he said, touching the screen. "You want something...easy to move in, built for sparring...but with minimal skin showing...right?"

Having Todd's arm around her helped to chase away the panic and let her mind and body calm down again. As Rogue leaned against him slightly, her hands clutching at the robe while she watched his work at the screen, she couldn't help but wonder what else might trigger an episode like that.

"Right," she murmured with a nod, thinking over what she had seen the crew and the queen wear during her previous time on the Hive. Even with that experience, she couldn't begin to guess at what the computer might produce.

He decided to also include gloves in her new outfit, as getting her ability back under control could take time.

When enough factors and preferences had been entered, he submitted the order with her name attached to it so that if need be, it could be replaced without needing to re-enter everything

"There we are, we'll come back after breakfast, should be done by then" he said and left the chamber.

"It's certainly an efficient system," she commented with a small smile as they walked through the halls. "Back on Earth, we'd have to wait weeks to have something made to order like that."

Rogue had never been one to overly enjoy shopping for clothes. She'd get the necessities and a few outfits and that would be it if she were on her own. It was only when she'd gone out with friends, like Jubilee or Lorna, that she'd been bit by the shopping bug and indulged in needless spending.

Switching gears completely, she slowly said to Todd, "I didn't realize that the crew cared about me the way I cared about them. Seeing them yesterday when we arrived, and today in the halls, it... I can't even describe what it means to me."

Todd looked to her as she spoke then smiled, and nodded. "Of course, you taught them quite a lot and, in a way, you were our queen for awhile."

Another wraith passed them in the corridor and the underling nodded to both the commander and Rogue before continuing on to wherever he was going.

"You mean a lot to us." Todd continued. "Even Victoria whom you knew the shortest time was at a loss when you disappeared as she lost her queen before she could truly strike out on her own, so the advice and experiences you gave her were important."

Todd couldn't possibly understand how much she'd needed to hear all of that. For three years, she'd felt abandoned and unwanted, hated for a genetic trait that she hadn't asked for. She'd been treated like a thing, tortured and studied, and she'd been sure that no one could ever want her with them again.

So to be on the Hive now, hearing about the impact she'd had on the crew and even the queen, and to be so readily welcomed back among them... It gave her a spark of hope that she might be able to regain a semblance of the life she'd had before.

"I think of all of you as my family," she told him. "I know it's different with wraith, but with humans, family is one of the strongest bonds there is. I would do anything for you."

"Good to hear." he nodded. Made her truly one of the crew...or family, whatever terminology one preferred.

They were the only ones in the kitchen when they arrived. Wraith only needed one meal a day so they usually ate in large groups. As Todd looked through the fridge of leftovers, he realized they forgot something rather vital on Atlantis.

"Seems we may have to return to Atlantis sooner than we thought." he said. "We have no vitamin D supplements for you to take." Without them, and in as low health as she was, she'd surely start to feel the lack of sunlight within a week, days possibly. It wasn't a complete detour as they were still in orbit around the planet they came through the gate from, but still, it was best she not be exposed to Atlantis for awhile as the military atmosphere-though severely diminished since she left-was likely to trigger something.

He thought awhile before coming up with a plan.

"I'll send a crew member down. All Atlantis really needs to do is send the supplements through, and Beckett is unlikely to fight for some sort of equal trade...Can you recall any other specifics Beckett wanted you to follow upon discovering the lack of sun was the root of the problem?"

Rogue hadn't really thought about the fact that they didn't have anything to directly combat the lack of sunlight for her. There were foods she'd be able to eat that would help somewhat, but he was right in thinking that the effects would be amplified in her current state. And she was grateful that Todd wasn't asking her to go back to Atlantis yet - she needed time before she'd be able to face the city and its inhabitants again.

"It's been a long time," she said softly, leaning against the island and trying to think. "There are certain foods that help, but other than that, the supplements were the best option. And taking any opportunity that's presented to go planetside, of course." Not that there were often many of those.

She rubbed a hand at her eyes. "He may have other things that he'll want to send for me," she continued. "We'd talked about ways to get my weight back up."

Todd grunted and as they prepared dinner he spoke mentally to Kenny about going down and requesting the items.

His second, after a little bit of grumbling, complied and left immediately to talk to and retrieve anything Beckett would deem Rogue would need.

Todd made Scrambled eggs, toast, and roasted grape tomatoes for their meal as there was little left in the leftovers fridge they could cobble together.

Being back in the kitchen was as nostalgic as Todd's quarters. She'd spent so much time there, teaching the crew about cooking and then supervising as they experimented and took care of things on their own. It was truly strange not to have the room full of wraith.

Rogue watched Todd work with a fond smile, helping where she was able, but mostly just enjoying the view. She'd missed being able to see him every day, to enjoy his smiles and finding ways to make him laugh.

"I don't think I'd be able to return to my world, even I wanted to." It came out of nowhere, the end of a complex train of thought process that would take ages to explain. But the words were out now, and she hoped that they might offer the both of them some reassurance that she was (hopefully) here to stay this time.

He paused in buttering their toast before finishing and plating it. "Let's hope not." he said. He couldn't imagine her leaving again. And if she did, it was likely she'd never return.

Again he paused, looking at her curiously.

"How did you come back?" Now that he thought of it, the way she'd left was a near death experience, but returning couldn't have been the same way as the last three years she'd been on the cusp of death.

Rogue let out a deep sigh, wishing she didn't have to tell the whole story but knowing that it was better to just get it over with. It wouldn't get any easier if she waited, after all, and he deserved to know.

"It's complicated," was the best preface she could come up with. "The war had gotten so much worse than when I was here last. Nearly the entire planet's population was dead or imprisoned, and so my friends came up with a plan to make one last effort at changing things - by going back in time and stopping the war from ever happening."

She glanced at him before looking back down at the floor. "I know it sounds crazy, but my teammate Kitty had developed a new power that she'd been using to send someone's mind back into their younger self. Going back five decades was risky, though, so Logan went because he could heal any damage. But while he was back there, he accidentally hurt Kitty, so Charles, Erik, and Bobby came to rescue me so I could take Kitty's power and continue the mission. I think that I ended up here because of my powers reacting to the timeline resetting. If I had stayed, I would have woken up in a different world, with no memory of anything that's happened to me in this life."

And while that might have given her a chance to be with Remy again, there was no guarantee that either of them would exist in that new world, or that they would meet and fall in love. And the idea of not membering Todd or anything about Pegasus... She was glad that things had turned out as they had. It was for the best that she remembered, both the good and the bad.

Todd listened quietly, setting their food down and sitting beside her to listen and eat.

He'd been around Atlantis enough to know that time and dimension travel was an everyday occurrence, so it didn't sound all that hard to believe.

Still it took a bit to process. So in the end her timeline was reset and things were good, but she'd never know how things turned out and it would be as though she'd never been born except to those few who had gone through the hell with her. That was hard, but did solidify the likelihood she would indeed not be returning to her dimension.

Rogue speared a bit of egg on her fork and popped it into her mouth. Chewing and swallowing, she took a deep breath and let it out in a loud sigh. Just saying all of it was exhausting, and she hadn't even gone through everything.

"I didn't even get to talk to Logan," she said sadly, moving a piece of tomato across her plate. "Give him a hug. There wasn't any time. And I'll never have the chance again."

"I'm sure there will be a lot you'll regret not doing, both now and years down the road." he said, taking a bite of toast. "But the important thing you should remember is thanks to you and...Kitty was it?...They all now have a future without war." he pointed out.

Todd looked to her. "We're very glad to have you back, Rogue." he smiled. "When we got the message from Woolsey you'd returned, I thought Sheppard was playing some cruel joke."

Todd was right, of course. They did all have futures now, and Rogue had played a part in that. For all the times she'd wished that the scientists for finally just let her die, she had only been able to help save them all by surviving that period of suffering.

She gave him a sad if somewhat amused smile. "You should know him better than that," she chided him gently. "The look on his face when I was finally lucid enough to talk with him..." She lifted her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. "I should never have slept with him. I think it just made it worse for him when I left so suddenly."

Edited 2016-04-20 01:59 (UTC)

Poor Sheppard, the guy had been pretty devastated upon Rogue's disappearance. From what he gathered, the loss of her had been akin to losing Doctor Weir all over again. He'd never met the first Atlantis leader, but cobbling the pieces together, she'd been one of no equal.

"And what about you?" he asked, sipping his tea. "Miss him enough to want to go back to him?"

Her home was here, with a crew who looked out for her like one of their own...But, being human, she had one foot in the door of a possible life with another human.

It had been heartbreaking to see Sheppard look at her like that. Like she'd meant the world to him. It was more than she'd been able to handle at the time, when that look prompted her to return feelings that she wasn't even sure she could have anymore, at least not while on Atlantis. For now, whatever warm feelings she'd felt toward the city had been replaced by anxiety and fear, however unwarranted.

"No," she said simply, easily, and without hesitation. "I miss him, but not... I feel broken, and being on Atlantis just made it worse. I felt like they were expecting me to just be okay, and I don't know that I ever will be." She gave Todd a small, unsteady smile. "But I don't feel that way here, especially not with you. So I'm not going anywhere."

A chuff and smile at that. Good to hear. Things weren't the same without her around.

After breakfast they headed back to his chambers. Before she'd left she'd been working on her Wraith, so he thought since she was still too weak to spar, getting back into reading and writing would be a good way to occupy her time. He dug through old papers in the cubby holes over the desk until he found the key he'd made for her along with any notes and work she'd already accomplished.

While she did that, Todd sat and worked from his portable screen, actually three of them laid out on the bed. He went through and approved or modified the new layouts on their farming world. This year they were actually expanding the livestock paddocks and shifting the wheat and corn fields to a new section to give the orchards more room.

It was frustrating to see just how much she'd forgotten of the language she'd put in so much effort to learn. The very basics were still there, tricks she'd come up with for forming the strange letters, but she couldn't even manage to read a sentence without first glancing at the key. (Which, by the way, nearly caused her to tear up again when he pulled it out.)

After a while, though, it started coming back to her and the reading became easier. Writing was still troublesome, recognizing a character and reproducing it were two very different things after all, but even that improved before long. If she kept at it with concentrated effort, she might be back to where she was within a week or two.

Some time had passed before her attention started drifting and she couldn't concentrate enough to focus on the pages in front of her. Yawning audibly, she stood and stretched a little before wandering over to the bed where Todd had his work laid out. She sat at the edge of the bed, not wanting to disturb him or any of the screens, and peered at the things he was working on.

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These delayed DW notifs are killing me. -.-

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