fateandfortune | Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

Only days? They really had advanced what their ships were capable of. She remembered how slow travel had been before, all the downtime they'd had in between stops and the regular worry about giving the ship time to repair itself. It was a whole different ball game now.

Rogue glanced over to watch him looking over her work, explaining, "I didn't get as far as I would've liked, but I needed a break."

She sighed and rubbed at her eyes before moving to curl up on the bed, laying on her back among the pillows so she could look up at the skylight and the stars beyond. "It makes me feel so small to see all of it up there," she observed quietly. "I was so dreadfully important to so many people for so many years, it's kind of nice to be small and insignificant again."

"You can't learn it all at once" he pointed out, turning to look up at the sky briefly before deciding to tear her away from the sight. "Come, your new clothes should be finished by now" he said.

When they returned to the chamber from before, Todd went over to the first pod and pulled out the first part of her new uniform, laying the black leather-like material on the table. He'd also commissioned a few undershirts in the silk-like material he wore, along with panties as he wasn't sure if going commando in her new pants would be comfortable for her. She had no need for a bra, her uniform would keep her secure.

Second pod had any metal components which were part of her uniform, which he easily attached himself. And finally he pulled out one boot and then nearly had to crawl inside the pod to retrieve the other, setting the pair on the table as well. The third pod was also for armor or shoulder decors like those on his, but she held no rank and would not see battle like the drones so there was no need for it.

"Go on" he urged "Try them on. The uniform might feel a bit stiff but like the boots, they'll soften up with use."

It was a little heartbreaking to leave that beautiful sight, but with the direction her thoughts had turned, it was probably for the best. If she let herself get too far into her own head, there might never be any coming out again.

The pieces of the uniform were so similar in material and design to what the others wore that it was strange to think of wearing it herself. Strange and yet... right. She was part of the crew, after all - wasn't that what he kept reminding her of? Perhaps it was time she looked the part.

As he laid out the pieces, she stepped forward to carefully trace her fingertips along the smooth materials, appreciating the quality of construction. It was only at his urging though that she moved to get dressed, slipping out of the robe and setting it on the table before sliding on the undergarments (which were very much appreciated), followed by the leather-like outer pieces. He was right that it all felt a little stiff, but she could tell that it would loosen as he'd said when she bent down to tug on her boots.

Once everything was in place, she straightened up and looked at him hesitantly. "What do you think?" she asked, spreading her hands at her sides, a hint of worry in her voice.

Todd watched her put on one part after the other of her new uniform, keeping an eye on if anything looked off or bunched up weird. The machinery wasn't perfect after all. But it seemed everything fit well and he stepped back to admire her, smiling as she asked for his approval.

"Now you look the part of my crew" he answered, then remembered one piece was missing. He returned to the first pod and pulled out half a dozen hair ties. They used thinner ones for their braids and the like but he recalled she liked putting her hair back entirely when she sparred and cooked and her hair was too thick for the little decorative ones.

He came up behind her and fixed her hair, combing his fingers through it and double checking to make sure no seams were wonky in the back before coming around again and chuffing happily. Oh how he wanted to see the look on Woolsey and Sheppard's faces when they saw her in wraith uniform.

Last but not least, Todd showed her where her pockets were, including a hidden one up her sleeve for a knife if she so chose to carry one.

"There's also a subspace transmitter here" he said, tapping on the buckle. "Press and hold the backside until it makes a noise and your position will be found. Handy to have in the event you get stranded." He didn't expect her to be going anywhere off the hive alone but precautions were never a bad thing. Everyone on board had them, though they were implanted under the skin instead. Thanks to her years of experimentation, he'd decided against doing that though.

Edited 2016-04-26 11:35 (UTC)

It didn't bother her in the slightest that he watched with such a critical eye while she dressed - she knew it was for the uniform and not her person, understanding that he was checking for any potential flaws in the construction of her new garments. When he gave her that smile and the words of approval, though, she couldn't help but feel so incredibly relieved.

She should have known he would have thought of everything, including ties for her hair since her old ones were likely long gone back on Atlantis. Having him fix her hair, combing through it with his fingers, helped her to more fully relax; there was just something about him touching her that settled her spirit.

The pockets were useful, though she didn't know if she'd ever use the hidden one in her sleeve, but she did immediately fold her gloves into one of the others. It was just the two of them for now, and she felt secure enough in her own bearing to walk around with gloves so long as she wasn't directly interacting with any of the rest of the crew.

Her vision blurred as tears stung at her eyes as he explained about the transmitter. She knew the others had them implanted, but he hadn't even proposed that idea to her, for which she was so grateful. Yet he had still made the effort to make sure she had one in case the need ever arose. In case she went missing again, if something happened and she was separated from the others. She wouldn't be left alone like before.

"Thank you, Todd," she said in a voice that was barely stronger than a whisper. "Thank you so much. For everything."

Before, anyone in the galaxy could read a subspace transmitter if they had the technology to do so. Now however, with the exception of Atlantis whose sensors picked up pretty much everything, only the hive the transmitter came from could pick it up on their radar so to speak. This ensured half a dozen hives didn't all come running to the rescue of a wraith that wasn't their own.

Todd inclined his head slightly, but said nothing more lest she desolve into tears.

"Come, let's go show you off to the queen." He said and led the way to Victoria's chambers.

Her chambers were hardly bigger than Todd's. But instead of the window to the stars being above the bed, it took up a good portion of the far wall. There was no desk but there was an armchair with the wall it sat in front of obviously her private library as one panel was open and filled with books. Victoria herself was in said armchair with a book when they entered.

"You're looking better." She complimented Rogue, marking her place and getting up, eyeing the human from head to toe. "Queens wear I see. I hope you aren't thinking of challenging me and taking over." She said with a playful smirk.

One of these days she wouldn't feel like crying every twenty minutes, but for now she was just glad that Todd put up with it and didn't say anything. It helped, in a way.

Rogue had always wondered what Victoria's space would look like. She hadn't seen the quarters reserved for the queen when she'd been on the hive before, and she hadn't been up to imagining it during her time in captivity - she was glad of that now. The window called to her with its beautiful view of the stars beyond, but she forced herself to focus on her queen.

That smirk was returned with a small, tired smile, and she shook her head. "You wear power better than I ever could," she told her queen with amusement and sincerity. "And you've done truly amazing things since I've been gone."

Victoria knew Rogue wouldn't nor couldn't take over from her. In fact she had more to worry about from her daughter than she did the human. Even at the young age the female was, there was likely already those among the crew who had decided they would jump at the chance to leave with her when the time came.

But the future of her daughter and others like her was uncertain. Would they follow the normal means and try to gain a position by force? Or will they have changed enough to consider making new hives? Todd hoped the latter, there were so few of their great ships now that at the next rendezvous, they were to discuss whether each hive should start building a secondary one so that the next generations got a good start. Territoriality was in a wraith's blood, eventually he suspected they might return to the old ways, but for now it was best to take every opportunity presented to up their numbers peacefully.

The queen spoke again after a moment. "I'm not familiar enough in just how your ability works" Obviously Todd had told her that they hoped she'd be able to help in Rogue ability control training. The commander tried to keep conversations vocal but six years of pretty much solid neglect had slipped him of the habit. "So our first lessons will probably be short and simple"

It was something Rogue would have to get used to as well, missing pieces of conversations, since if Todd was having trouble with it then the rest of the crew most certainly would. Piecing together what she had missed wasn't too difficult in this circumstance, at least, though as she thought about it she felt the heavy weight of dread settle in her stomach.

Nodding slightly, she glanced from the queen to Todd and back, worrying her lip with her teeth as she tried to find a way to broach a subject that had just occurred to her. With all of this being Todd's idea, she hadn't taken the time to really think things through, and now she was desperately wishing that she had.

"I'm grateful that you're willing to help me," she told the other female, hesitation clear in her words. "I do have a question for you, though, about your own abilities. With your... With your telepathy, how much of my mind would you see? Is it just the surface, just communication and the thoughts that are at the front of everything, or..." She didn't know how to explain what she was worried about, what she needed to know.

"Both" she answered without hesitation. "Unlike male wraith, I can probe a lot deeper into the minds of others, viewing things of recent, and past feelings and events imprinted on the mind" she said. "However, as I won't be interrogating you, its unlikely I'll go deeper than what the commander has in the past, perhaps a bit more if such levels so to speak aren't enough."

She looked to Todd, who'd evidently started to talk to her mentally, remembered he needed to stop that, and repeated what he'd begun to ask aloud. "Can you suppress consciousnesses? She has a number within her that could be done without." he said, referring to the children and even some of the more unsavory ones from times past.

At that, Victoria thought a moment then gave a slight shrug. "I have never tried but I suppose that is in my abilities." she answered, then looked to Rogue again. "If you're fretting about what I might see in your head, you might as well get over it. Whatever Todd knows, I will too in time. Does that answer your question?"

That dread was just burrowing its way further into her as the conversation progressed, until Rogue felt physically ill from it. She didn't know if her expression showed any of what she was feeling; she was trying very hard not to let it, but she was fairly certain that her efforts were failing miserably by the time the queen finished her explanation and answering Todd's question.

Rogue took a deep breath that shook audibly and crossed her arms, almost huddling in on herself. This was supposed to be a good thing, she knew that, and yet she couldn't see past the instinct to protect the both of them - she cared too much about them to put herself first in this case.

Shaking her head, she answered, "That's not what I'm worried about. I don't want to have secrets from you, from either of you, but I can't..." She pressed a hand to her mouth for a moment before moving it to her neck. "I don't want you to see what they did to me. Not after what the both of you have experienced. You don't deserve that."

Edited 2016-04-29 04:29 (UTC)

The two wraith looked to one another then back to Rogue.

Still so compassionate.

The queen spoke after another moment. "Are you perhaps ashamed of what I might see? We're Wraith, Rogue, we are the stuff of nightmares throughout an entire galaxy. You're wrong if we can be so easily shaken by things that can't hurt us." They were memories after all, nothing more.

Rogue shook her head again, but couldn't manage to find her voice.

Stupid. Of course she was thinking like a human and not a wraith; she had no idea how they personally processed things like this, but Todd had certainly intimated long ago that it wasn't the same as it was with her species. How could it be, when their lives were so long? She felt like an idiot child and regretted having said anything.

"You're right," she finally managed, the words quiet was thankfully steady. "I apologize for doubting that."

"Sleep, eat, and spend time with my commander. When he feels you're ready, we shall start our lessons together." Victoria said, turning away and going back to her armchair and her book.

Todd put his arm around Rogue's shoulder and they left the queen's chambers, heading to the kitchens, though paused when they were a little ways from the queen's room, looking to her in silence and allow her to get her bearings.

Sleep, eat, and spend time with Todd. They were easy directions to follow, and yet she was exhausted just thinking of them. Would she ever feel like her old self again? Was there any part of that Rogue still left inside her, or was it all just broken pieces that wouldn't fit back together again?

She looked back at Todd when they stopped, watching him for a moment before giving a small nod. "I'm alright," she assured him. "I think I'm just tired and it's starting to get to me."

Todd regarded her a moment before nodding and they continued on their way to the kitchens.

This morning had been dead, now however there were six others already there in various stages of eating. Three were finishing up at the table, two were making sandwiches, and the last, Kenny, was settling at the table himself with a bowl of soup. All of them looked up when the pair entered and eyes were on Rogue and her new clothes.

"Finally changed out that ugly white thing you came in for a real uniform." said one with a smile.

"You look good" complimented another.

Kenny offered his usual enthusiastic response. A grunt and his focus back on what he was already doing. Though, even the simple noise said he approved.

Todd gave Rogue's shoulder a gentle squeeze and went to the pantry to pull out some ingredients for their dinner.

Rogue wasn't sure that any of them would ever understand just how much their approval meant to her. Even just those few words from the two and that grunt from Kenny (especially that, really) were enough to brighten her spirits considerably. It was easy to give them all a bright smile - she was being reminded that she was home.

"Thank you," she told them all with a nod. "It's certainly more comfortable than what I had before."

There was a moment when she contemplated pulling her gloves out of her pocket and tugging them on before getting any closer to the others, but she managed to remind herself that there was no real need. Wraith weren't the touching sort, not casually or publicly, and she could keep her distance at the table and everyone would be just fine. She didn't need to keep running scared, figuratively or literally - not here on the hive ship.

By the time they sat down with their own food, the group had grown by three. Conversation was fairly typical, as though Rogue had never left. They didn't nose into what happened to her, whatever details Todd felt were necessary had been or would be told to them by him.

However, one was about to ask her what she'd be doing on the hive now that they were pretty much set on how to cook, but Todd caught it in the underling's mind and shut him up before he could utter a word.

Rogue need not have any outside help with her anxiety on her "purpose" on board the hive. For now, her full concentration would be on healing her mind and getting her ability under control, and nothing more.

After that, there were many routes she could take, but he suspected she'd likely want to work with the young ones.

That taste of "normalcy" was exactly what Rogue needed to feel truly at peace with the crew again. They acted as if she had never left, their conversation easy and full of everyday talk rather than pestering her for information on what had happened while she was gone. She wondered at it for a bit, but finally accepted that, as with so many things, they weren't like humans who would never have been able to resist asking her a hundred questions no matter how uncomfortable it made her.

She was a little surprised that none of them brought up her plans for the future, though. That was something they had asked about when she'd first stayed on the hive, but perhaps now she was simply a member of the crew and the rest wasn't as important as it might have once been. Whatever the reason, she was glad for it - she really didn't have a clue on the matter. Yes, she would like to work with the young ones if possible, but she was a teacher of human children and she wouldn't have the first idea of how to help the wraith children in their development.

But maybe she could figure it out.

Toward the end of the meal, there was a short lull in conversation and Rogue couldn't help but express something she'd waited to say since she first saw them all again. "I'm so glad to be back here with all of you," she told them with absolute sincerity, hoping they might be able to understand just how much they meant to her.

Conversations circled mostly around farming and how the drones were holding up. Unfortunately, split second decision making for the big guys was hard, so keeping a few caretakers around was going to be needed when dealing with the animals. Horses, their primary way of getting around the farms, were especially jumpy and required a more gentle hand than what the drones could provide. Many got the feeling that while the darts would eventually become useful scooping up ripe crops, even the cattle herds would need upper-level management full time.

This required tough decision making as most of those on board were seasoned warriors and those genuinely interested in it, were already working on the dart's harvesting capability. Todd, as usual, took a laid back approach and was confident they'd figure it all out eventually.

Rogue had spoken little during dinner so her little blurt had them all look at her. A couple chuffed in acknowledgment, others smiled and nodded. Todd brushed his fingers lightly against her own under the table.

It was indeed wonderful having her back.

It was nice to listen to their talk of farming, to have that connection to what had just been starting when she'd left. They'd come so far with it all, and she was as certain as Todd that they would figure out solutions to their problems in time. They were a resilient bunch, and they hadn't disappointed yet.

Their acknowledgments of her statement brought out a smile, which only brightened at the brush of Todd's fingers. She didn't remember him ever doing something like that before, not when they were around the others. He'd never touched her hand or put his arm around her the way he did now, the most physical interaction they'd ever had in public had been in the arena. True, what had happened just then had been under the cover of the table, but still. It was different, but in the best way of course.

She caught his fingers long enough to give them a light squeeze before letting go again and turning back to her meal. It was still difficult to eat, the process requiring actual thought, but it had been made easier that afternoon by the presence of the others. She'd even managed to eat a bit more than her previous meals with Todd. There was still a long way to go yet before she'd be back to normal, of course, but it was a start.

It was hard for him to say why he was being so...affectionate. Perhaps by touching her occasionally it was a reminder she was actually there. Also he supposed it helped ground her as well, to keep her from disappearing into her own mind.

After dinner, they headed back to his chambers. They'd jumped into hyperspace not long ago so the room was bathed in blue light. No stars tonight, but, as he'd elaborated, they wouldn't be in hyperspace for long.

Undressing down to his pants, he went to an unopened panel and, at the bottom, pulled out a familiar volume.

Climbing into bed with Rogue he said, "I never finished it." he said. It was the Count of Monte Cristo. A little worn at the corners, but the bookmark was where he'd left it all those years ago.

He was right that those little touches helped to keep her in the here and now; it had always been that way for her when things had gotten bad. And of course she didn't mind it in the slightest - she rather liked having those little affectionate gestures, and she'd be more than a little pleased if they ended up sticking around.

Rogue undressed as well, but down to her undershirt and panties since her new pants were still on the stiff side. They weren't the same as her old comfortable pajamas, but all of it was better than what she'd had before, and that was the degree to which everything was measured now.

When he pulled out that book and brought it over, the bookmark still in place, she couldn't stop the tears from flooding in. Pressing a hand to her mouth, she tried desperately to hold it all back, but it was just too much. Every little sign that he hadn't forgotten her, that he'd been waiting for her to come back, was too much to bear.

"I'm so-sorry," she stuttered out between broken breaths, bowing her head to try to hide her moment of weakness. "I'm so glad you k-kept it."

Todd was taken aback a bit by her outburst of tears but didn't tell her to knock it off or the like. He settled into bed beside her. "Indeed, I'd like to know how it ends."

Time was different for wraith, and while, yes, six years was a long while, it was a drop in the bucket for one such as he. Still, after his imprisonment by the Genii, and the fact what remained of his crew had not given up hope of finding him, such had passed onto him.

Rogue meant a lot to him. And while, no, he didn't take out the book every once in awhile to remember, he hadn't given up hope either that one day she'd return, so he'd kept that she'd left behind as it was.

Tugging the covers up, he opened the book up once she was comfortable and started to read.

She didn't cry for very long; there was an ebb and flow to her emotions that she worried would someday come to be irritating for him, but she would try hard not to let it get that far.

Curling up next to him, listening to him read the story she had so loved and wanted to share with him, she found a spark of hope that she could maybe get back to where she had been before. That one day in the not so distant future, she could be Rogue again, strong and independent, whole and sane. With Todd's help, it might just be possible.

Eventually, she started to drift off, the day catching up with her. She shifted once, twice, trying to keep herself awake to hear more of the story, to have this moment between them for a little while longer.

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We'll have to find a use for the transmitter eventually now. :D

Hehe

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