fateandfortune | Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

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Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

[continued from here]

It was a pleasant surprise to glance over and see Todd asleep on the bed, relaxed and peaceful. He can't have gotten much quality rest the night before propped up in the chair as he had been, certainly not when he'd been woken by her nightmare. She hoped that didn't happen again tonight, he had important things to take care of tomorrow; she didn't know all of the details, but with a civil war going on between his people, he needed his wits about him.

To that end, Rogue forced herself to stay awake for hours into the night, eating the dinner he'd brought for her and looking through one of the books from the collection he'd shown her before their sparring session. She didn't recognize anything on the pages, but it gave her a topic for conversation with the voices in her head, providing ample entertainment to pass the time. Eventually she fell asleep herself, the book held carefully to her chest as she curled up in the armchair, her boots set on the floor beside it. It was a fairly deep sleep, and she didn't dream for one of the first times in many weeks, something she was eternally grateful for when she awoke.

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It was nice to listen to their talk of farming, to have that connection to what had just been starting when she'd left. They'd come so far with it all, and she was as certain as Todd that they would figure out solutions to their problems in time. They were a resilient bunch, and they hadn't disappointed yet.

Their acknowledgments of her statement brought out a smile, which only brightened at the brush of Todd's fingers. She didn't remember him ever doing something like that before, not when they were around the others. He'd never touched her hand or put his arm around her the way he did now, the most physical interaction they'd ever had in public had been in the arena. True, what had happened just then had been under the cover of the table, but still. It was different, but in the best way of course.

She caught his fingers long enough to give them a light squeeze before letting go again and turning back to her meal. It was still difficult to eat, the process requiring actual thought, but it had been made easier that afternoon by the presence of the others. She'd even managed to eat a bit more than her previous meals with Todd. There was still a long way to go yet before she'd be back to normal, of course, but it was a start.

It was hard for him to say why he was being so...affectionate. Perhaps by touching her occasionally it was a reminder she was actually there. Also he supposed it helped ground her as well, to keep her from disappearing into her own mind.

After dinner, they headed back to his chambers. They'd jumped into hyperspace not long ago so the room was bathed in blue light. No stars tonight, but, as he'd elaborated, they wouldn't be in hyperspace for long.

Undressing down to his pants, he went to an unopened panel and, at the bottom, pulled out a familiar volume.

Climbing into bed with Rogue he said, "I never finished it." he said. It was the Count of Monte Cristo. A little worn at the corners, but the bookmark was where he'd left it all those years ago.

He was right that those little touches helped to keep her in the here and now; it had always been that way for her when things had gotten bad. And of course she didn't mind it in the slightest - she rather liked having those little affectionate gestures, and she'd be more than a little pleased if they ended up sticking around.

Rogue undressed as well, but down to her undershirt and panties since her new pants were still on the stiff side. They weren't the same as her old comfortable pajamas, but all of it was better than what she'd had before, and that was the degree to which everything was measured now.

When he pulled out that book and brought it over, the bookmark still in place, she couldn't stop the tears from flooding in. Pressing a hand to her mouth, she tried desperately to hold it all back, but it was just too much. Every little sign that he hadn't forgotten her, that he'd been waiting for her to come back, was too much to bear.

"I'm so-sorry," she stuttered out between broken breaths, bowing her head to try to hide her moment of weakness. "I'm so glad you k-kept it."

Todd was taken aback a bit by her outburst of tears but didn't tell her to knock it off or the like. He settled into bed beside her. "Indeed, I'd like to know how it ends."

Time was different for wraith, and while, yes, six years was a long while, it was a drop in the bucket for one such as he. Still, after his imprisonment by the Genii, and the fact what remained of his crew had not given up hope of finding him, such had passed onto him.

Rogue meant a lot to him. And while, no, he didn't take out the book every once in awhile to remember, he hadn't given up hope either that one day she'd return, so he'd kept that she'd left behind as it was.

Tugging the covers up, he opened the book up once she was comfortable and started to read.

She didn't cry for very long; there was an ebb and flow to her emotions that she worried would someday come to be irritating for him, but she would try hard not to let it get that far.

Curling up next to him, listening to him read the story she had so loved and wanted to share with him, she found a spark of hope that she could maybe get back to where she had been before. That one day in the not so distant future, she could be Rogue again, strong and independent, whole and sane. With Todd's help, it might just be possible.

Eventually, she started to drift off, the day catching up with her. She shifted once, twice, trying to keep herself awake to hear more of the story, to have this moment between them for a little while longer.

If she were some spoiled brat who'd had her favorite toy broken, her crying might get on his nerves. But she was by far not, she'd been through a lot, and humans reacted differently than wraith to such circumstances.

As he felt her drifting off, Todd closed the book, set it aside, and touched the knob that shut the lights, leaving them only in the blue glow. He got up briefly to toss his pants aside before rejoining her.

Laying on his back with his arm around her, Todd closed his eyes, though waited until he sensed she'd fallen asleep before allowing himself to do the same.

Snuggled up beside Todd, it was easy to give in to sleep, falling into it almost immediately once he was settled beside her again. She slept deeply, but only for a few hours before she woke just as quickly as she'd fallen asleep. Another abrupt waking, but at least there hadn't been any screams yet - though she was sure they would come.

She slid away from Todd, sitting up and dangling her legs over the side of the bed while she covered her face with her hands. Slow, deep breaths to calm her racing heart.

Todd stirred when she jolted awake and then sat up when she moved away from him. When he slept beside Victoria there was little disturbance, it would be some time before he got used to Rogue's periodic wakings, if ever. Preferably not, as he thought it best he should be awake for her during these dark moments.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked before caressing her back and moving closer.

Rogue felt him move behind her, recognized his wonderful voice and the care in those words, but still - she couldn't help the way she flinched away from his touch on her back. It wasn't personal, she knew he would never hurt her, but the memories of the people who had were so fresh in her mind that it was hard to separate the two.

"I'm just not used to sleeping for very long," she explained, turning slightly toward him but not actually looking back. There wasn't a lie in the explanation, but it wasn't all there was to it either.

Todd didn't shy away, in fact he moved closer to sit beside her, stroking her hair behind an ear to try and get her to look at him.

Rogue had never viewed him as a predator. Someone...something to be feared or flighty around. And while, no, it wasn't the same, he had little else to compare it to. Feeling her avoid him like this was not a step he liked. He had to ensure she didn't curl up on herself, especially after waking as she had.

"Come on, talk to me." he said "If you don't, whatever is eating away at you is just going to continue to do so" he pointed out.

Having him so close to her was both wonderful and painful. She wanted so desperately to lean into him, be wrapped up in his arms in the hopes of chasing away those terrible memories. But she also wanted to run away and hide from everything, including her favorite wraith.

The only manageable compromise was to stay right where she, no closer to or no farther from him. Still she didn't look at him.

"I dreamt about when they did this to me," she told him in a hushed voice, reaching up to set a hand on her shoulder, indicating the healing scars on her back. "Every time they did it."

The hand on her back resumed its slow massaging.

"Let it pass" he rumbled. "Remember they can't hurt you again."

He wondered if suggesting she imagine them in pain was a good idea or not...Worked for him when getting through the worst days with the Genii. Only difference was he made his vision come true, feeding upon them until they were shriveled, making their companions watch them die the worst death imaginable...

However, Rogue couldn't seek revenge even if she wanted to. No use getting her hopes up.

Todd continued to touch her back a moment before sliding his hand up her shirt to rest it against the middle of her back, hoping the skin-on-skin contact would help.

"Come back back to me Rogue. You've already started to heal, don't let them continue to occupy your conscious mind."

It was good that he didn't suggest such a thing. Nothing good would have come of Rogue imagining anyone in pain, let alone the people who had done those things to her. It wasn't in her nature to seek revenge, to hurt other people, and trying even just to imagine it would have taken her down a very dark path.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let it slowly, the sound of the exhale shaking as she tried to get her nerves under control. "I'm trying," she admitted in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. "I know they can't hurt me anymore, I do. I'm trying to get past it."

Another breath before she turned more fully, finally looking at him, meeting those strange and beautiful eyes that she'd missed so desperately while gone, even when she'd thought him nothing more than a figment of her imagination. The eye contact didn't last long, though - she pulled away again, standing and running her hands through her hair. She needed to move, to do something other than sit there and try not to cry.

"I need to...," she started, then shook her head. "I think I'm gonna go make some tea."

Todd was relieved when she finally looked him in the eye, but then the feeling was gone when she turned away and got up. As she wrung her hands and fiddled with her hair, he felt...at a loss. She was trapped inside her own head...and...he couldn't help her.

No, his crew didn't give up on him. So he'd not give up on her.

As she tried to make suggestions on something to do, he got up, cradled her face between his hands and kissed her full on the mouth.

If only she knew a way to explain. He did help her, more than he could possibly know, but not everything could be fixed so simply. He spoke of just letting things go, of forgetting, but she wasn't wraith and trauma in humans could take a great deal of time to overcome.

She almost asked if he might want to come with her when suddenly he was there, his hands on her face and his lips--

It was the most wonderful thing she'd experienced since returning to Pegasus. As she melted into that kiss, her hands clutched at his arms, wanting to make sure he stayed right where he was. She felt safe in that moment, safe and cared for and not alone, and it was everything she needed.

As she melted against him, real relief flowed through him, glad he'd finally gotten through to her. Even if this was just temporary, it was something.

He only broke the kiss when air was starting to become an issue, but he didn't go far. Resting his forehead against her own, he moved his hands to her waist.

"Still want that cup of tea?" he asked quietly with a smile.

She returned that smile with one of her own, a brief but truly happy smile that masked the ache that still resided in the depths of her heart. He'd chased away a great deal of it, but the rest would take time.

"I just want you," she admitted just as quietly, sliding her hands up his chest to lay one along his jaw and the other on his shoulder. Having him so close, touching her, kissing her... There was absolutely nothing else that could compare to that feeling.

As long as he was doing something, even a little was a lot.

Todd kissed her again. He'd almost forgotten what she tasted and felt like so close to him...When she was gone, he would sometimes remember how little time they'd actually spent together. Just mere months. Yet she'd done so much and meant so much to his crew...and to him. Her absence had been significant. She was here now though, and he was going to to do his best to ensure here was where she stayed. And he was going to spoil her as often as he could.

The commander drew Rogue back to the bed. Sitting down, he pulled her close, caressing her back and pressing a kiss to her collarbone.

That second kiss left her feeling calm and languid, as it his touch were a drug with the sole purpose of relaxing her. They'd only had a few months together before she'd been pulled away, but those months had left just as much of an impression on her as they had him. He had helped to give her a life she'd always wanted, one where she could be close to the people she cared about without constant worry of hurting them, but he had also given her the gift of his care. Todd had never been afraid of her and what she could do; his approach had always been practical, perservering despite her setbacks, and when they'd finally succeeded at their venture...

Sighing, she leaned into him, pressing her own kiss to the side of his neck. "I still can't believe that I'm really here," she admitted quietly to him, as if afraid that speaking above a whisper would break the calm around them. "With you. I have these moments where I'm certain I'll look up and be gone again." Another kiss along the curve of his jaw. "I need you in my life. If I lost you, I..."

Edited 2016-05-07 06:50 (UTC)

He wouldn't be surprised if she outlived him. After all, while the wraith's diet had changed, their ways of moving up the ranks had not. Did her dependence upon him mean that he had to live no matter what? Make sure he remained commander for the rest of her life? Hard questions with even hard answers.

For now he supposed things would be okay. And he dare not bring any of it up with her for a very long time.

"I'll remain in your life." he chuffed, pulling her in for another kiss to silence her and her thoughts which were turning inward. Todd laid down, pulling her with him and caressing her bare skin.

It was smart to not bring up that possibility to Rogue. With everything she had been through and was still dealing with, even considering that prospect would have been enough to send her into a panic. She knew how wraith society worked, of course, but it wasn't something she actively thought about; if she did, she'd never be able to look at the rest of his crew with anything but anxiety and suspicion.

She snuggled up close against him, smoothing a hand over his chest in little circles. "You make me feel at peace," she admitted quietly to Todd. "I don't think anyone else in this universe could do that now." It was important to her that he understood how he made her feel.

Edited 2016-05-14 03:44 (UTC)

He chuckled at that, "Hm, sounds important. While I'm flattered, any particular reason why you're telling me this though?" He knew he meant a lot to her. She favored him over all the others on board, and Atlantis, especially now after her traumatizing time back in her dimension.

"Never mind" he said "Go back to sleep, you need it."

He was important, in so many ways that she couldn't say without making things awkward. The emotional revelation she'd made before her absence still held true, and she still fully understood that it was a bad idea to tell him anything of the sort. So she was glad when he dismissed his own question instead of waiting for her answer.

"I'm so tired of sleeping," she muttered with a smile, humor in her voice, before she closed her eyes and settled in to rest a while longer.

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Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

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Sry for delay, busy week

No worries! Same here. I usually just poke in case DW ate notifs.