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Rogue || Marie D'Ancanto ([personal profile] theycalledmeacurse) wrote in [community profile] fateandfortune2016-07-18 12:50 am
Entry tags:

Insomnia + Caretaker Memes


Who in the world could hate kindness? Sweetness? Conscientiousness? All of us, on some level, like to be pampered and taken care of, from the most churlish to the most pleasant. Yes, even those grouchy grumps, or, of course, the cool-headed psychos -

Okay, maybe not all of us to the same degree.

Regardless of your disposition, somehow, you've gained a doting significant other. It seems like they find their greatest pleasure in taking care of and looking out for you. This may manifest in them simply trying to keep you entertained, happy, and healthy; it could also come in the form of them being a domestic doter, taking care of all your needs. Be it the former or the latter, there's an inherent adorableness that comes with their efforts and generosity, and in return, you have an urge to protect and care for them. They're just too precious for this world! Only, you know, there's a good chance you can a. ignore this, because you're emotionally stunted and full of wo/manpain, or b. repress it because you're a badass and would never.

Unless you've completely disregarded all that because they're just too much and you want to hold them forever.

So, how do you feel about all this? Do you wish they'd stop with this foolishness (not really)? Are you pushing them away? Are you embarrassed? Maybe you're absolutely taken with them! Just realize that you have it incredibly good.

• Comment with your character, preferences, their role, any info, etc.
• Reply to others.

Usual: This is how they always are. "Caring" is in their nature.
Unexpected: They don't seem like the type...but with you, they are.
Terrible at It: They're trying hard, yet it seems like they fail at trying to take care of you. Depending on who you are, though, that may just make them more endearing.
Because You Like It: They heard you like those who are sweet and kind, so they're trying to change their ways.
Not Together: Technically, you're not together romantically, but everyone knows the truth.
The Doted Upon: What it says on the tin!

Feeding: Whether they cook for you or have moments where they feed you, literally, they take your nutrition seriously.
Massage: Let them work out all those kinks.
Clean You Up: Here, they've drawn a warm bath for you.
Dress Your Wounds: If you're the kind of person who gets in battles, they'll see that you're all patched up.
Singing: Or telling stories, or otherwise calming you down.
Lap Rest: Sometimes, their lap is the best pillow.
A Shoulder to Cry On: When you have troubles, they're always there to listen.
The Calming Force: If you have moments of terror from past trauma, they're always willing to put themselves on the line to bring you back to reality, even if it puts them in danger.
Soft Kisses: Their kisses feel so good, and they're never demanding.
Head Pat: Sometimes, a simple gesture can mean the most.
Grooming: They'll fix your hair - or at least play with it - and help you shave.
Gifts: Homemade or expensive, they like to shower you in presents.
Lovemaking: The obligatory smut option, where they're a generous lover.
Protector: They look out for you, and while they don't seem that way, if you're threatened, they get like a bear protecting her cubs.
Gentle Giant: They make you feel so small and delicate.
Reverse: For once, you want to dote on and take care of them.
Unwilling: It's a wonder they still try to care for you, because you're cruel to them and rebuff them at every turn, even if you really don't mean it.
It's Okay to Cry: They never get upset because they don't want to put that on you. You want to let them know they can let it all out.


the i n s o m n i a meme

It happens to everyone - sometimes, you have nights where you just can't fall asleep, no matter what you do. It could be for a number of reasons, or no reason at all. And this is what's happened now: you've been laying in bed for what feels like hours, just tossing and turning, and nothing seems to help. So what's left to do? Get out of bed and go wake someone else up, of course. If you're not getting any sleep, then why should they?

i n s t r u c t i o n s

Post with your character (note the name and fandom in the subject).
Other people reply to you by generating a number from 1 to 10.
• Have fun!

o p t i o n s

01 • FEAR. Maybe you're hearing strange, indeterminable noises; maybe there's a severe storm happening outside; maybe you watched a scary movie before bed? Whatever the reason, you're terrified and it's keeping you awake. You just want to wake someone else up so they can protect you from the monster in your closet.
02 • HUNGER. Your stomach is growling and it just won't stop. Or perhaps your throat is so dry you could cough up a tumbleweed? Well, you've gone to the kitchen to remedy this and hey, that was a pan that just dropped on the floor. It was loud enough to wake the dead! Oops.
03 • PAIN. Your body is completely worn out, be it from exercise, battle, sickness, or what have you. Either way you're in enough pain to keep you from sleeping, so maybe someone else has a home remedy or something, or can at least help you take your mind off of it.
04 • SOLITUDE. For some reason, your bed just feels so empty at the moment. You're feeling terribly lonely and really just want someone to keep you company for a while. Maybe it'd be easier to fall asleep if you're with them...
05 • DISCOMFORT. Your room is an oven. Either that or a freezer. Or maybe this bed is just really uncomfortable? Who knows why you can't get to sleep, it feels like it could be anything. Why even bother trying? Maybe someone else can preoccupy you until you feel tired enough to ignore your discomfort.
06 • PENSIVE. Something's on your mind, and no matter how hard you try to focus elsewhere, it's just not going to work. Your body may be tired, but your mind is incredibly busy and it's virtually impossible to get to sleep. Surely, talking it out with someone else will help?
07 • SADNESS. Something terrible has happened that day, perhaps; or you could just be severely depressed. Either way you're trying your hardest not to cry yourself to sleep, and it's not working at all. Better find a way to get it out of your system somehow; you need a shoulder to cry on.
08 • ANGER. You are just... fuming. Who knows why - that annoying dog is barking again, or maybe the people next door are getting busy and keeping you awake. Whatever the reason for your ire is, you'd better put an end to it so you can get some damn rest already! Go wake up a friend so you can complain to them.
09 • RESTLESS. You're far too energetic to sleep right now. Maybe you're just trying to do so out of necessity - you have to be up early tomorrow! But you just don't think you'll be able to fall asleep for a while now, so why waste the time trying to sleep when you could be doing something else? Namely bothering someone else - you're totally jealous because they're getting more sleep than you.
10 • WILDCARD. Choose one of the options above, or make up your own scenario.

on_ur_left: ([tfa] look at those pecs okay)

The Usual - take your pick!

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
Steve found, in the couple short weeks they'd been sleeping together (really sleeping together, not the sex), that he slept best when he was curled around Rogue, usually in just his boxers, so he could press as much skin as possible against hers. He'd rest his head against her shoulder and neck, wrap an arm loose around her waist (never tight, never anything she felt she couldn't get away from, if she needed space), one leg bent to rest just a little over hers. It should have felt smothering, but the feeling of having her right there with him helped Steve relax, and he knew Rogue enjoyed being able to feel skin on hers.

They'd gone out to dinner that night, on what Rogue was jokingly referring to as 'Date Night'; they spent as much time together as they could, but Steve enjoyed going out and doing things every courting couple would, and tonight he'd taken Rogue out, nothing fancy, just to a pizzeria, where they could enjoy some good food, and just joke and flirt and be a regular couple for a few hours. It had been amazing.

They'd gone to bed early, but hadn't gotten to sleep until much later, but as was beginning to be the norm for him, wrapped around Rogue Steve dropped right off to sleep. Things were finally settling into a routine for them, and Steve loved it. Everything was really starting to look up.
on_ur_left: ([tfa] devastating new start)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
Sound asleep, Steve jerked violently at the screaming right in his ear, flailing a little as he tried to instinctively get away from the noise, startled awake and not really coherent yet. "What─?!" he muttered breathlessly, before realization set in.

"Rogue," he said urgently, moving back toward her before pulling his hand back uncertainly. He didn't want to touch her ─ of course he wanted to touch her, he wanted her to wake up, but he didn't want to startle her out of the nightmare she was obviously having. "Rogue," he said, making his voice as firm as possible, hoping to get through to her. Still using his Captain voice, he continued, "you have to wake up now. You're dreaming. It's a nightmare. It's not real."

Considering the last nightmare they'd had to deal with had been his own, and it had been based on a real memory, he wasn't sure how accurate his words were - but in the moment, nothing she was seeing was real. It might have happened at one point, but it wasn't happening now. He just had to get her to wake up and realize that.
on_ur_left: ([av] your what now?)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
Steve made his voice gentle, coaxing, but didn't make any move, toward Rogue or anywhere else, recognizing the wild, frantic look on her face. "Rogue. Marie. I need you to relax." She was breathing too fast, and Steve really wouldn't know what to do if she hyperventilated and fainted while panicking.

Not knowing what else to do to pull her out of her head, Steve─ started singing.

He didn't have a high, clear voice, but he pitched it up as far as he was comfortable with, letting the words flow over his tongue on instinct, barely paying attention to what he was singing.

"Rest tired eyes a while; sweet is thy baby’s smile; angels are guarding and they watch o’er thee. Sleep, sleep, grah mo chree; here on you mamma’s knee; angels are guarding, and they watch o’er thee."

Steve winced a little at some of the lyrics - he hadn't chosen the song on purpose, it was just something his mother had sung to him, so often that when he thought of comfort, it was the first thing to pop into his head.
on_ur_left: ([av] torn by responsibility)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Steve saw when Rogue came back to herself, and let his words slow and die out as she started crying. He wanted to pull her forward, cradle her in his arms and comfort her ─ but he wasn't sure she was ready for that, yet. "Rogue," he called, wanting her to look at him. "Marie." He slowly placed his hand, fingers stretched and palm pressed down on the bed, then slid it toward her a little.

"Please. Let me help. Okay?"
on_ur_left: ([av] sad; distraught; regret)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Watching her start to retreat, Steve decided to change tack. He pulled his hand back, then held both of them up, palms out, showing that he was stopping. "Okay. Okay." He settled back on his heels, a little further away from her; she obviously didn't want to be touched right now - and yeah, that hurt, but he knew how she was about physical contact; this was just the opposite end of the spectrum of what he'd seen so far.

"If you don't want me to touch you, I won't," he said soothingly, lilting his words to put emphasis on 'you,' letting her know that at any time, if she changed her mind, he would be there in a heartbeat. "But please... just stay here, okay. Let me..." help, he wanted to say, but he didn't know if he even could, or more importantly, if she'd let him. It was always hit or miss with Rogue, whether she'd accept help, or insist she could handle something on her own. Finally, he settled on repeating, "Just, let me. Be here, for you. Please."
on_ur_left: ([av] angry square jaw of righteousness)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
This is wrong. If he'd thought he'd been hurt at her not wanting him to touch her... this was a hundred times worse. Steve couldn't stop the quick inhale he gave at hearing her say that. But listening to what she said afterward, he began to understand just what she meant, and berated himself. This wasn't about him, it was barely even about them - this was all about Rogue, and the issues she had that he barely knew anything about, because she kept such a tight wrap on them. He understood wanting to keep your pain away from the people you loved, so he'd never begrudged her her secrets, never questioned the little things he could tell slipped into her words on accident.

But he wasn't going to shy away from it, either. Truthfully, it kind of made him angry, that she thought - what, that he was so perfect he didn't understand at least a little of what she was going through? That he deserved something better than the sheer perfection of the last several weeks with her, just because she had problems and issues she had to deal with?

He kept listening to her, his jaw clenching. Finally, when she called him an angel, he couldn't hold in the bark of dark, incredulous laughter. A humorless, angry smile, more a baring of teeth than anything, crossed his face. "Sweetheart," he said, anger leaking into his words (and if he weren't so very angry, at the entire world at the moment, he'd hate the fact that he used the term of endearment on her with anything but love), "if you think I'm an angel─ I am not. And if you think, for one goddamned second, that this?" he gestured around the room to indicate their current situation, "is gonna scare me away from you, or do anything other than keep loving you, then you really haven't been paying attention. I'm not going anywhere, Rogue. And if you wanna go ─ fine. But not tonight. Not like this."

If she wanted to call this whole thing off─ well. He honestly had no idea what he'd do. Soldier on, like he had been before he'd met her, and she'd changed his world. But he wasn't going to let her do it just because of her insecurities and fears about herself. Captain America was the Sentinel of Liberty, the Leader for Justice.

Steve Rogers was just a stubborn sonuvabitch who never backed down from a fight.
on_ur_left: ([av] srs bsns brow)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
Steve had been honed for fighting, and with the adrenaline still coursing through his system from being so abruptly awoken, and the entire ensuing ordeal, his senses easily picked up the first minute shift of Rogue's body, interpreting it as her intention to leave, and was off the bed almost before she was.

Normally, Steve would never, ever try to confine Rogue, or restrain her in any way. But at this point, he could see the cracks starting to break open inside her, could tell this wasn't really her anymore ─ or it was, the real her that she'd been hiding from him; it didn't really matter. What mattered was, he wasn't going to let her leave until she was rational again.

She'd barely made it three steps away from the bed when he caught her elbow with one of his large hands, the other coming around to wrap around her middle and pinning her other arm; he pulled her against his chest, curled around her and tucked his head down beside hers, and waited for the fall-out.
on_ur_left: ([tfa] can't get drunk; crying)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Rogue's legs went out from under her, and instead of trying to hold her up, restraining her even more, Steve let his right knee fold, tilting to the side before sitting on the floor, with Rogue essentially in his lap, one leg stretched out beside hers.

Listening to Rogue's sobs tore at Steve's heart as few things ever had. Not least of which because he knew he was partly to blame for them; he'd triggered this, but he'd felt he had no other option, besides letting her go, which was really no option at all.

He let go of her elbow and wrapped that arm around her too, rocking gently on the floor, as he listened to her words. He knew those words, or words like them, and he'd never known what to do with them. How do you fight someone who's not there? How do you get the ghosts to go away, or at least grant a reprieve?

"Rogue, it's me," he murmured, almost a whisper, in her ear. "It's just me. I'm not gonna make you do anything. But if you walk out that door right now, I think you'll regret it, and I know I will, so I can't let you do that. Okay? I just need you to calm down, and then I'll let you up. But I'm not letting you go, not tonight. Okay? It's okay. I got you. I got you."

Steve continued the litany of soothing words, hoping they would make a dent; hoping they wouldn't make things worse.
on_ur_left: ([av] questioning; confused)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-19 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Steve tried not to let it through to his body, tried to keep his muscles loose and relaxed, but he was tensed. Ready for her to try and break away from him. He listened as her crying softened, then died to a few hiccuping breaths; he could feel her body as it settled against his, her resistance fading.

He couldn't quite hide the stuttered sigh of relief, and pressed his face into her hair to hide it, even though she couldn't see him. He still heard her apology, and almost snorted at the sheer absurdity of it.

"You have─ nothing to be sorry for," he whispered back, his breath hitching as he remembered her earlier pleas. "You haven't─ it wasn't your fault, Rogue. And I know," he continued quickly, before she could say anything to refute his words, "I know you'll say it's not true, probably even believe that, but none of this was your fault. I don't know what happened before, and I don't know what you dreamed tonight, but this, what happened just now? Not your fault. Only thing you've done, is be yourself, so that I fell in love with you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

He had to choose his words carefully while speaking, because this wasn't the time to be blasé and say something like 'being perfect' or 'making me fall in love with you'. Maybe it wouldn't matter; but it could, and so Steve selected his words with care. He still wasn't sure if he would say the wrong thing, hit some unknown trigger that would set her off again, but he was trying to avoid the obvious landmines.
on_ur_left: ([av] biting/licking lip; looking down;)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-20 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Steve let his head sag onto her shoulder, his forehead resting there, when she started talking coherently. He didn't believe it was really over, but the worst seemed to have passed. He hoped. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, and then one to her jaw. He needed that loving touch, probably as much as she did right now, an affirmation that she was still there with him, still willing to try.

Trying to lighten the mood, without upsetting her, Steve smiled, half-hearted at best, but there, and hopefully coming through his voice. "Of course I'm not going anywhere. It's my apartment, and I've got a great discount," he joked. Pressing another kiss to her neck, he continued more seriously, "If, at some point in the future, God forbid," he felt like he should be crossing himself even thinking this, "we decide this isn't working ─ we'll go our separate ways. But it's gonna be a rational decision, for both of us. I'm never gonna let you walk away when you're scared. Okay?"

Captain America, it was a well-known Fact, didn't understand the concept of fear. Steve Rogers did, of course, but where others ran, it only made him fight harder to hold on to what he had. "We're in this together. We make those kinds of decisions together, too, okay?"
on_ur_left: ([tfa] startled; didn't see you there)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-20 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
He'd been about to let his arms fall from around her - they were just in a loose hug at this point, anyway - but at her urgent words, Steve quickly released her, putting a hand under her elbow to help her up. They weren't far from the door, thank goodness, and the bathroom was just around the corner.

She had to be exhausted, after all that crying, and now about to throw up wouldn't help her feel any better. Steve had no problem pampering Rogue even on a normal day, but he resolved to do as much for her as he could, as she would let him, at least until she was feeling better, and started getting exasperated with him. And maybe a little bit more after that, until she yelled at him.
on_ur_left: ([tws] too many thoughts; introspective)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-20 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Steve waited outside the bathroom door, feeling anxious. They'd have to discuss this. Nobody liked puke, but it wasn't like he'd be offended seeing it, or think less of her for being sick. He could at least hold her hair back. But he also understood all too well not wanting to show weakness, or perceived weakness, to the people you loved.

So, he waited. And when Rogue opened the door, looking drawn and tired and so, so fragile, his heart broke for her. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, gathering her in a gentle hug, reaching up to rest his hand on her head and smoothing down her hair.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm sorry you're going through this. Tell me what you need, okay?" He wasn't entirely expecting her to give in to his request - she was just as likely to tell him she didn't need anything, she'd be fine, but he figured he'd at least offer first, before basically forcing her to let him take care of her. "Right now, this very minute, what do you really want?"
on_ur_left: ([av] ....oh)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-20 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Steve considered sex just as awkward and embarrassing, at least at first, as throwing up - but with the added benefit of being fun and pleasurable to make up for it. But so long as Rogue let him take care of her at some point, before, during or after, he could live with being shut out at certain times. If anyone understood wanting independence, it was him.

He was just glad when she didn't brush him aside, or tell him she was fine. Because clearly, she was not. He nodded at her answer, pulling back to kiss her forehead before catching her eye. "Walk, or be carried?" If she was that tired, her legs might not hold her now that the adrenaline was fading as quickly as it had come, but if he tried to change her upright position, it might make her sick again. "Lemme get you in bed, and I'll get you something to drink."

He did have ginger ale (he'd never had a pantry so well-stocked in his life as he did now, thanks to Rogue), but ideally he'd like to see her drink a glass of water, as well. He should start stocking up on Gatorade as well, really, for both of them, but water would re-hydrate her better than ginger ale.
on_ur_left: ([tws] new!steve surprised)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-20 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
It was the simplest thing for Steve to wrap his arm around Rogue's back, under her opposite arm to help support her. It felt like a much longer walk back to the bed than it had been getting out of it, and it wasn't just from the slower pace. Steve hated seeing Rogue so weak, and he was sure she hated it just as much, and more-so letting him see it.

Settling her on the side of the bed, Steve placed one more kiss on her forehead, smoothing down her hair, before murmuring, "Let me get you that ginger ale. I'll be right back, okay?"

So, yes, he was mollycoddling her a little. Sue him, he liked being able to take care of people. Being able to take care of her, for once.
on_ur_left: ([av] srs bsns brow)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-24 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve would never see her as a burden, and not just because he loved her. He'd seen people who had truly been burdens, parasites only taking and never giving anything back, even to the people who loved them and wanted to help them. Rogue was absolutely nothing like that; and even if he had to take care of her every second for the rest of their life, Steve would do it gladly, because yes, he loved her, and that wasn't something that came and went like the weather. He was always going to love her, and when she let him, he was always going to take care of her, however he could. If she needed to see that over time to accept it, than it was nothing more than he was planning on doing anyway, so it was no bother to him.

He was thinking about all this while he got the can of soda, a glass and some ice, and poured it all together, grabbing a straw as well, just in case. He caught himself frowning in frustration over the entire ridiculous idea that he wouldn't take care of her, and made sure his face showed nothing but patience and compassion as he entered the bedroom again.

Sitting down beside her, but giving her a little room in case she still wanted it, Steve handed her the glass. "Careful, it's slick," he murmured, holding on until he was sure she had a firm grasp on the glass, already wet from condensation in the summer heat. He flicked the straw up between his fingers, a wry smile quirking his lips. "Wasn't sure if you'd want this, or not."
on_ur_left: ([av] torn)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-27 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Steve watched attentively as she drank, reaching out to rub a hand along her back - before hesitating. They'd slowly been working up to a point where she didn't mind him drawing attention to it, so long as he didn't draw attention to it, but he didn't know what she'd dreamed, and didn't want to make her upset again.

He didn't quite realize the significance of her hand on the bed at first; but when he did, his face lit up with a small, pleased and oddly shy smile. Instead of taking it with his nearest hand, he reached across his body, his closer arm going up to wrap around her shoulders in a sideways embrace. He brought their clasped hands up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss against her knuckles. "Better?"
on_ur_left: ([av] huh. wouldja look at that.)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-27 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
"That's okay," he murmured, drawing her a little closer so he could press a loving kiss to her forehead. "You take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere." He wanted to add that she should tell him what else he could do for her, but knew Rogue never would, and might clam up and insist she was 'fine, don't worry about it' if he suggested it. He'd just stay attentive, and do what he could.
on_ur_left: ([av] biting/licking lip; looking down;)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-29 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Her quiet words, and that nervous look, made Steve's heart clench. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Absolutely." Another kiss, because he was never going to not want to touch her at every opportunity, before he got up and went over to peruse his shelves.

There wasn't a large selection that wasn't about art, or non-fiction. Although... Steve reached out, hesitating for a moment on pulling out the book he'd bought on a whim when he'd seen it during his cross-country tour. It had always been a favorite of his as a child, and as soon as he'd seen the familiar artwork on the cover, he knew he'd buy it; but it was a little embarrassing as an adult to read a children's book to another adult, wasn't it?

It had always made him feel better, though, and that's what counted, he decided, pulling the book off the shelf and returning to the bed. He settled down against the headboard and patted the bed beside him.

"Alright," he began, keeping the book hidden so she wouldn't see the title before he was able to explain himself. "I'm gonna preface this by saying, I don't think you're a child. When I was sick as a kid - and it was a lot - I always wanted my ma to read this to me. So, I can find something else, but it's kinda slim pickings, unless you wanna hear about the art deco movement, or post-modernism in painting."

Finally, Steve turned the book so Rogue could see the etching-style artwork of a rabbit on the front cover, with the book title "The Velveteen Rabbit".
on_ur_left: ([av] files; working)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-07-31 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve shifted his arm a little as Rogue leaned against him, wrapping it around her shoulders and letting her settle against his side.

"Here was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid," Steve began, his voice taking on the soothing cadence of reading aloud that he'd learned from his mother. "He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen. On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy's stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming."

Steve continued to read, his voice soft and even, moving as little as possible when he needed to turn the pages. He found himself relaxing as the story progressed; he hadn't realized how tense he'd gotten, but it made sense, after being startled awake, going straight into trying to talk Rogue down from her panicked state, and then having to stand by helplessly while she got sick.
on_ur_left: ([av] pleased Steve is pleased)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-08-05 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Without even looking, Steve could tell Rogue was starting to fall asleep, and fighting it; slowly sliding down against his shoulder and chest, before jerking slightly, only to repeat the process a couple minutes later. He understood the sentiment, the harrowing memory of terror too near, being afraid to fall asleep only to go through the whole traumatic experience again.

When he finished the story, and Velveteen Rabbit was a real rabbit but had lost the love of the Boy in sacrifice, he gently closed the book. There was no way on earth he was going to disturb Rogue, just to get up and find another story, and he didn't think he had anything else soothing to read anyway. But, there was one other option...

Taking a slow breath, Steve began reciting a story he'd learned from his mother. It was a simple nursery story, easy to memorize because of its repetition, and soothing for the same reason. "There once was an old woman, sweeping her cottage, when she came across a sixpence. 'What,' she wondered, 'shall I do with this sixpence? I know, I shall go to market and buy a little piggy.' As she was coming home, she came across a stile, but piggy wouldn't jump over it, no matter how she coaxed. So the old woman went off, and met a dog. 'Dog, dog, bite pig,' she said, 'for pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight.' But the dog would not.

"So she walked a little further, and came across a stick. She said 'stick, stick, beat dog; dog won't bite pig, pig won't jump over the stile, and I shan't get home tonight!' But the stick would not." Having grown up with the story, and many others like it, in a harsh world so different from the current one, Steve was surprised at how violent the story was as he continued, running through the progressively longer list of characters the old woman met; the fire that wouldn't burn Stick, Water that wouldn't quench Fire, etc.

Finally, he began to reach the crescendo of the story. "But the cat said, 'if you will go over to yonder cow and get me a saucer of milk, I will do this thing you ask.' The old woman gladly went to the cow, but the cow said, 'if you will go to yonder haystack, and fetch me a handful of hay, I will give you some milk.' The old woman fetched the hay for the cow, who allowed her to take a saucer of milk, which the old woman gave to the cat. The cat daintily drank the milk, serenely washed its paws and face... and then:"

He had to take a deep breath here, because while he was trying to keep the story soothing for Rogue, he just could not resist rushing through the entire list of animals, giving it the proper sense of urgency and completion. "The cat began to kill the rat, Rat began to gnaw the rope, Rope began to hang the butcher, Butcher began to kill the ox, Ox began to drink the water, Water began to quench the fire, Fire began to burn the stick, Stick began to beat the dog, Dog began to bite the pig--

"And the pig, in such a fright, jumped over the stile, and she did get home that night."
on_ur_left: ([tfa] recriminating thoughts)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-08-14 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
No matter how Rogue meant those last two words, they struck a bittersweet chord in Steve's heart. He leaned his head down and pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head. "Not going anywhere," he murmured back, his secret code phrase for her.

Feeling another story might just keep her awake, Steve decided on something else. He probably would never feel comfortable singing this when she was awake, or when anyone was around to hear him, even if they couldn't tell when he messed up, but it was an intensely private thing, something he'd only attempted when he was alone, and feeling desolate.

He began singing a song he never truly understood; he could pronounce the words, knew the flow of syllables, could recognize a few words here and there as being separate from the other sounds, but for the most part, it was just memorized repetition. It was in Irish, and his mother hadn't wanted to teach him, telling him he was in America, he should speak English like everyone else. But she would sing, to him, to herself, and he had soaked it up.

The sounds flowed easily off his tongue, a high, soft pitch with a rhythm entirely different from English-language songs, but soothing, to him at least, as it symbolized home, and comfort. He tripped over a few of the harder-to-pronounce words here and there, but comforting Rogue had helped lull him into a half-awake state as well, and he just corrected himself and kept going, not fussing over anything.
on_ur_left: ([av] disappointed)

[personal profile] on_ur_left 2016-08-18 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Steve could feel when Rogue finally fell completely asleep, her body sagging and becoming heavier against him. He finished the song, then craned his head forward to check her face; peaceful, with even breathing. He thought maybe she'd sleep soundly now, at least for the rest of this night. He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, resting his lips there as he went over the events of the night in his head one more time.

Now that he had a chance to process everything, he realized just how close he'd come to her leaving, maybe for good. She'd been so frightened, and thankfully he'd been able to do all the right things to make her stay. He felt guilty, now, for grabbing her, for restraining her the way he had, especially knowing even a little of what she'd gone through, what her nightmare must have been about. But he simply couldn't let her run out that door.

He thought, a little uneasily, that maybe their relationship was unhealthy. They depended so much on each other, had fallen into this relationship so quickly. And yet, he couldn't regret it. Rogue had helped him really step into the 21st century in a way he'd been avoiding, living here but keeping his distance. She'd helped him move on from his past, and he hoped he was helping her as well.

Suddenly, he let out a jaw-cracking yawn, blinking his eyes wide afterward in surprise. He supposed that meant it was time for him to go to sleep, as well. Reaching over, trying to keep Rogue as still as possible, Steve clicked off the bedside lamp, shrouding the room in darkness, save for the city lights that shone in through the window. He carefully scooched down in bed, rearranging Rogue until she was resting against him, her head still pillowed on his chest and shoulder. He kept one arm wrapped around her back; the other he used to place her hand over his heart, leaving his hand on top.

Finally, he closed his eyes, and surprisingly was able to relax and fall asleep within moments.
alice_fell_down: (lonely)

Alice Abernathy | Resident Evil | OTA

[personal profile] alice_fell_down 2017-06-15 03:03 am (UTC)(link)