fateandfortune | Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

[continued from here]

It was a pleasant surprise to glance over and see Todd asleep on the bed, relaxed and peaceful. He can't have gotten much quality rest the night before propped up in the chair as he had been, certainly not when he'd been woken by her nightmare. She hoped that didn't happen again tonight, he had important things to take care of tomorrow; she didn't know all of the details, but with a civil war going on between his people, he needed his wits about him.

To that end, Rogue forced herself to stay awake for hours into the night, eating the dinner he'd brought for her and looking through one of the books from the collection he'd shown her before their sparring session. She didn't recognize anything on the pages, but it gave her a topic for conversation with the voices in her head, providing ample entertainment to pass the time. Eventually she fell asleep herself, the book held carefully to her chest as she curled up in the armchair, her boots set on the floor beside it. It was a fairly deep sleep, and she didn't dream for one of the first times in many weeks, something she was eternally grateful for when she awoke.

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Exhausted from the day's excitement and the stress of the last few days making sure they weren't followed by non-alliance hives had been the perfect sleep-inducer for the commander and he was out as soon as he laid down. The deedle of someone at the door woke him and he got up, awake and believing the worst had happened.

The blood results had returned and the cancer had returned. Enemy hive had stumbled upon Atlantis...Rogue had touched someone.

Well, he was right about it being Rogue, but the marine outside didn't seem in a panic and Sheppard wasn't here...so obviously no crisis.

"What's the problem?" he asked, but stepped aside to let her in, in case she wanted to keep what she had to say away from Sheppard's people.

She was such an idiot.

He'd been asleep. He was managing to get some much-needed rest and she'd gone and messed it up with her silly panicking, and now she'd made him worry. She could see it in his expression, the assumption that something had happened or was wrong, and she hated that she had done that to him.

Rogue stepped inside and heard the door swoosh shut behind her - she wasn't going to stay, but at least this way her idiocy would only be on display to one person instead of two. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, quickly. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I wasn't thinking. I just couldn't sleep and... Nothing's wrong," she said firmly, though her expression likely said otherwise. "I was just being silly is all. You should go back to bed."

She turned back to the door, ready to make a speedy exit, but she couldn't remember how to open the damn thing.

As she struggled with trying to open the door, he said, "You may stay." He probably wouldn't have slept much longer anyway. While it felt good to be on Atlantis, the dim quiet of a hive ship was home.

"Wave your hand in front of the panel if you want to leave." he said, moving away and sitting on the couch, which he'd turned to the window to look at the sky. The room hadn't been touched in his absence, the book he'd been reading was still sitting where he'd left it, the couch, the same.

It took nearly a full minute of Rogue debating with herself before she finally turned away from the door and moved further into the room, very carefully taking a seat at the other end of the couch. The view of the night sky was stunning and she sat there for a little while in silence, just watching the stars.

Until finally she had to say it. "I couldn't sleep," she said very quietly, "because I don't feel safe here. I know it's stupid. Maybe it's because of all of the military personnel everywhere, but I'm... I was terrified of being in that room by myself."

Soldiers had been the ones to come for her so many times before. The ones who had taken Erik, who controlled the Sentinels that hunted them. She knew these soldiers weren't under those orders, she knew it, but fear could be an incredibly irrational thing.

And Atlantis hadn't accepted her. Despite the warm reception by Sheppard and his team, she was still not welcome here, and that scratched at her thoughts as well, unearthing the instinctive fear that had been her companion since the start of the war.

"I assumed as much" he said. "And I...understand." Sympathize was too strong a word.

A comfortable quiet settled between them a moment, both focused on the moonlit sky, the seemingly endless sea that surrounded them, and the soft continuous waves against the city.

"In fact, perhaps this is an opportune moment" he said looking to her. "We expected that your invitation here might not be permanent one. After what we have to do here is done, I will honor my word to you by dropping you off on an uninhabited but habitable place to live out the rest of your days on. But the last two weeks have presented another option that I will offer to you."

Even if Woolsey had said yes to let her stay, he doubted she'd feel comfortable being followed around all the time by a marine. He was used to it but her world was a different place regarding the military and she'd likely never settle in if tonight was any indication.

"My crew, at least, those who have been inoculated, have taken to you. A cook with long term experience is still needed on board, and you've proven yourself to be a good teacher." He said. "And in between dinner and the occasional spar, we can try to work out controlling your ability."

Rogue didn't need someone to sympathize with her. She didn't need someone to pity her, to walk on eggshells. She needed someone who understood, who accepted her. That was all. Just those simple things.

The things that Woolsey had refused her, and that Todd was now offering.

Rogue opened her mouth to speak, but her throat was too tight with emotion and the words wouldn't come out. She tried again, and finally managed a strained, "You'd let me stay?" The last word broke and she pressed her gloved hand to her mouth, holding in the sobs that were threatening to come rushing out. The stress and fear that had built up inside her was draining away, leaving her ragged and empty, and she couldn't stop the few tears that fell and soaked into her gloves.

She wouldn't have to be alone. She wouldn't spend the rest of her life in complete isolation, feeling unwanted and like the monster the politicians had claimed her to be.

She wouldn't have to be alone.

Todd nodded, "Yes, you can stay." he confirmed. "Are you up for it?"

He quite liked having a human around, and Rogue, even with all her questions, was pleasant company. Besides, they had as much to learn from her as she had them.

He'd have to see about getting Rogue her own quarters though. If he didn't heal so well, he was sure his back would be suffering from the nights in the armchair.

Focusing on her breathing made it easier for Rogue to pull herself together. She could break down later, when she was by herself, and let go of the last of the tension through a good old-fashioned cry. For now, though, she wiped away the moisture at her eyes and gave Todd an only slightly trembling smile.

"Oh yeah, I'm up for it," she asserted, close to bursting with an overpowering feeling of utter relief and genuine joy. He was letting her stay, she could have a purpose and not just be taking up space and existing on some forgotten little planet. It felt like a dream.

"Thank you, Todd," she told him. "This means... so much. Thank you for trusting me enough to give me a place on your ship." The Wraith wanted her more than the humans did. It was kind of funny, in a very sad sort of way.

Todd could sense her tension, her need to breakdown in a mix of pent-up anxiety and happiness, sort of like when she woke up from the worst of the nightmares rolling around in her other subconsciousness's. Except on the other end of the spectrum.

"Good. And you're welcome." he chuffed, then got up off the couch "Now I think you should get back to your room before the marine asks what's going on." he said. Also so that she could explode with her emotions in private.

"Tomorrow we'll be up early starting the inoculations. Sheppard seemed quite fine with your company so I'm sure he wouldn't mind giving you the tour...Or Teyla Emmagan. You could probably use some female company after the last few weeks" he chuckled.

Wraith females and queens tolerated one another when there wasn't a territorial dispute, but preferred isolation from other females. Female humans on the other hand seemed to crave to be together. And as Ronon wasn't the warmest of people and McKay wanted little more than to question Rogue about every minute detail of her earth, it was better to stick with the colonel or the wraith sensor.

[ooc: my novel of a tag is over here]

Just two vampires, traveling the galaxy... [For Todd the Wraith]

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